I Need A Vacation

Have you ever just gotten completely burned out? Your brain no longer functions. You can’t seem to accomplish the easiest of tasks without a ton of problems thrown in your face. Ever just completely hit a road block? Yet you find yourself with no option but to just trudge through it for another two or three months and hope you’ll find some time to just take a break or a short vacation. What happens when those two or three months pass right by you and you swear you’ll find your break in August or something? Then suddenly it’s November and you’re realizing you haven’t had even a hint of a vacation or any time off in over 3 years. You’ve been post poning and swearing to your haggard brain that it will eventually get a rest and now your wondering if it will ever actually happen.You see all your friends, with their “real” jobs and their steady biweekly paper checks, lapping you year after year with their vacations; always complaining about how they go by too fast. You just can’t help but think to yourself…..fuck the week my years goes by too fast. I couldn’t imagine how fast a week vacation would go by for me. At this point there would be no advantage to me taking a vacation. I’d blink and end up missing it. Even if I managed to keep my eyes open, I’d still probably end up spending the week worrying about whats going on at the office. Is this is the cell I put myself into by choosing the wonderful world of self employment? American fuckin dream right? At this point I’d be willing to settle for a week working at home alone in my room.I’d probably get a lot done during that week…

Thanks for putting up with my venting…

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Updating The Blogroll

Alrighty folks. I’m going to be updating my much outdated blog roll here pretty soon. I don’t want to just put a bunch of links to my friends of forums i frequent. I’d rather link directly to blogs that belong to readers of Blue Hat SEO. So if you got a SEO related blog post it up quickly and I’ll include it. Please no other types of sites, although a forum or two might be okay as well.

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I Deleted My Post About Coders

So I deleted my post about coders. I was trying to be helpful to the people hiring, but instead i was hurtful to some hard working programmers. It was full of generalizations based upon my own experiences and not upon the experiences of a large enough group. Upon retrospect I could of made the article more useful by putting aside my own biases on the subject. This is however a blog. I am in full right to publish my own biases and opinions but that is not the direction I want to take this site. This is not a hate site. This is not an opinion site. So I retract.I appologize.-Eli

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Breaking News – Myspace Child Labor Laws

In breaking news today Myspace announced to the Associated Press that it will be replacing much of its current staff with much cheaper child labor. Myspace announced that it is hiring as many 8-14 year olds as it can get. The kids’ job descriptions will include writing content for the site.

Other jobs will include programming and technical support.

Spamming Wikipedia

How come no one has written a good tutorial on how to properly spam wikipedia? Am I going to have to write it? This should be one of those open topics that you get sick of hearing about.

I’ll see what I can do and get back to you all.

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Matt Cutt Videos

So Matt Cutts has made the leap into the video blogging world recently. I personally think this is a huge step in the right direction. Basically he is taking the time to create short 8 minute videos to answer questions from the people in the SEO world. The best part about it is he is actually answering REAL QUESTIONS.

Questions like:Does Google Analytics play a part in the SERPS?What are some SEO myths?

These are some really good questions that he is answering. This naturally shocks me quite a bit. Everytime I’ve seen Matt in an interview the interviewers are always kissing his ass and spend the entire time asking retarded questions like How does Google feel about spam? Well Jimmy, Google doesn’t like spam very much. Then of course after the interview all the listeners start kissing the asses of the interviewers. Oh my god that was such a profound interview. I learned so much. Instead of saying what everyone is thinking. Are you fuckin kidding me?! You had a Google engineer sitting there with an open mic and you didn’t ask a single real question!

All I can say is way to go Matt. Way to step up to the plate and swing. He didn’t have to do this. He could of just have picked all the lame questions, but he chose to do it anyways. You really got to respect him for that.

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Google Speaks Klingon

I heard this on a WebProWorld post the other day. Kinda made me laugh. I don’t personally know klingon, but if Worf was disrespectin’ my momma I’d learn quick as hell.

Check Out Google Klingon

Only one Star Trek Joke? Com’n Eli. You’re slippin’.

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Churches Say The Darndest Things

LOL, this is kind of funny/perplexing so I thought I’d share it. You know how church signs are getting wittier and wittier? At least around my town they seem to be in a heated battle over who can have their sign say the darndest thing.

However I’m not sure but I think the church across the street may be making fun of me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked to be an inspiration to christians and potential christians alike, but I’m starting to think the bald guy that changes the sign might of been drawing blanks one early morning. Looked across the street and said hey, “they get foot traffic.”

I don’t go to that particular church, but i’m starting to think I should simply because they are obviously so damn kookie.

Here’s the sign Here’s my office right across the roadps. I don’t know why shrinking the image made the roof look like it was made from a giant piece of walnut hardwood. You’ll just have to trust me that it’s shingles and it looks normal.

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The Manliest Site On The Web

So I’m still having some fun with Microsoft Adcenter. Except now I’m attempting to award a website with the Manliest Site On the Web Award, and since I don’t discriminate I am also offering the Womanliness Site On the Web Award as well.

I’m taking nominations, but so far here’s what we got.If you would like to participate go to the Microsoft Adcenter Labs and put in a url, click the URL selection (no query selections will be accepted).

Manliest Site On the Web Nominations:www.HotRod.com – 73% Men Awesome car magazine. www.StarTrek.com – 85% Men Worf is my hero to. www.MattCutts.com – 66% Men The dude knows his nerd stuff.

Womanliness Site On The Web Nominations:Viagra.com – 68% Women It’s doesn’t work for you, stupid! Oprah.com – 69% Women Wait till you see who beats her. DrPhil.com – 73% Women BOOYAH Ugly! He’s sensative AND has a penis, of course women are going to love him. He probably even asks for directions.

What Did I learn?The trick to having a manly website is to talk in ways only men can understand.The trick to having a womanly website is to gain and loose as much weight as possible.

Please feel free to submit the sites you think should win in the comments.*Porn sites excluded

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Forum Signup Spamming

Across several of my site’s forums there has been a new trend of some script automatically joining them and putting their blogspot spam in the website url. They are gaining links from having their links in the members list script. These seems to be only happening on phpbb boards. Looking at the averages most of these sites are gaining between 300-800 links from this technique. So i got curious, how many possible links can you gain from this spam if used to its fullest. This of course can’t be told by looking at how many phpbb scripts are out there, or how many memberlists are indexed, it must be done manually.

The answer is 53,203.

damn not bad! but before you decide to start spamming the hell out of every forum consider to temporary factor of these links. Not only will they not transfer PR to your site, but they will count for very little for a very short amount of time. This may not be worth it in the long run, becauseit is believed Google takes into consideration the “link growth” of your site. A huge peak, then a huge drop may actually hurt you. The only real solid potential I see of this is to get blogspot accounts indexed, and yes i would also recommend about 300-800 links per domain to get them indexed quickly and fully.

Good job spammers, you’ve bested the internet again

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